


You will never know

by EonaSPN



Series: Never know [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, F/M, M/M, Mpreg, POV Second Person, Secret Child, Time Skips, obliviate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-05-31 08:25:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19422202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EonaSPN/pseuds/EonaSPN
Summary: Shouting insults at each other that's all we do, apart from that one night. But you don't remember. So you will never find out that I am carrying your child under my heart. He kicks me every time we fight, but you will never know of him. I will keep this secret my whole life no matter how many times I see you.





	You will never know

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone,
> 
> another Darry story (kind of). This was originally published on fanfiction.net in 2016 as my first HP story.
> 
> Warnings for mpreg and mxm. Please no flames, you have been warned and there are enough other stories on this site.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own HP.

“Piss off, you git.”

“Oh, you wouldn’t want the only person who actually spares you any attention apart from your two mindless puppets to leave, would you, Potty?”

“Only because you don’t have friends doesn’t mean I’m the same, you bloody spoiled prat,” you scream back at me.

Yelling insults at each other. That’s our daily business. That’s all we do. That’s what we are supposed to do. The boy-who-lived and the son of the best known death eater family. We are not allowed to be anything but enemies. And that’s how it always been since you refused my friendship on our first day here at Hogwarts.

Well no, actually I remember one night where it wasn’t. One night five months ago where we just forgot what was expected of us. Where we just did what we wished. I wonder what others would think if they knew. I will never be able to forget it I guess. Do you remember? No, of course you don’t. Obliviate is a very strong spell if performed correctly. I didn’t do it because I wanted. You told me to, but you forgot that as well. You wish that it never happened, don’t you? But because you can’t use Obliviate on yourself, I can’t forget and I never will.

But you don’t remember and so we are back to shouting insults at each other in the corridors. There are moments where I wish so much you would remember. Remember that you were the one who came to me while I was just sitting out on the Hogwarts grounds, trying to escape my fears. I never wanted to be a death eater, but in a family like mine, you don’t really have a choice. It is either take the dark mark or have yourself as well as your mother killed. Remember how you told me that you were sick of all the expectations they put on you, how you asked why we couldn’t just be friends. You were the one who kissed me first after I put my arms around you. 

I really don’t know how it came from making out in front of the lake to hot steaming sex in my prefect room. Do you know that you were the first male I slept with? I tried it twice with a girl before that, but it never felt right. All the rumours about me sleeping around are lies, made up to keep my reputation up. But it was the best I ever had. I don’t know how it felt to you, but afterwards you laid down with me and held me in your arms. I was so happy that just for a moment we could be what I always wanted, friends and later on, more than friends.

Remember how you said in the morning after waking up that it never should have happened. That it would be best if we just forgot it. You said if you knew a memory charm you would perform it now. Hah, the famous boy-who-lived doesn’t know one of the basic spells. Apparently you didn’t listen to Granger well enough. I don’t know whether you meant it as a joke actually, but you seemed serious to me. So I performed Obliviate. Until today I am not sure why I did it, but to me it looked like this was what you wanted. So you will still be the perfect golden boy and you won’t have to live with the shame of having shagged your death eater enemy.

I wonder, what you would do if you knew. Would you curse me or would you try to make friends again? I will never find out I guess. I replaced your memories with false ones, so you will never remember. Hah, there is one more thing. I am sure you would flip if you knew that one. Our night was not without consequences even after I erased your memory. You might not know it but in the magical world everyone can carry children no matter what gender.

It was about one month after our night that I started to feel badly. I suspected what it was but prayed that it wasn’t. Another month later I managed to convince myself to finally get myself tested. I went to the only person I knew I could trust, my godfather. Sev is the only one who knows everything. I told him about the mission Voldemort gave me, about our night and my suspicion. He confirmed it. And he helped me, he is hiding it for me. But that is only going to work for so long. I am wearing glamour spells the whole time, but illusions can’t hide something like this forever when you stand in front of Lord Voldemort. Severus is going to pretend I am sick starting in about two and a half months. I am just going to disappear when the time comes. Hopefully I can return when Voldemort is defeated.

So now I am carrying your child under my heart. How ironic, don’t you think? The child of the wizarding world’s saviour in the body of a known death eater. I always wanted to have children so I can give them a better childhood than I had. Insults and getting slapped when you made a mistake don’t make for the best experiences. But yours wasn’t much better, was it? Do you want children? Surely not yet, we’re only 16. That doesn’t change the fact that I will keep our baby. I have seen enough death at the manor. 

I can’t help but ask myself what you would do if you knew that I will have your child in four months. You know, every time I am fighting with you like that, he kicks me restlessly. I bet the baby knows his father. It’s a boy by the way, Sev made a potion to find that out. But you will never know. You don’t remember our night, so it would make no sense to tell you about him. And maybe it is best if it stays that way.

Yeah, that everything stays the way it is. That we keep on shouting insults at each other. That we stay enemies. No one will ever know. And our son will never know his father. Severus and I will be the only ones to know his true parentage. So keep on insulting me, it’s better than trying to befriend me, it’s never gonna work. Actually this argument started because you asked why I stopped with Quidditch. Do you really care? It’s too dangerous with a child in my belly. That would have been the honest answer, but all I said was that it’s not your business. We are enemies and will stay that way forever.

“I have enough friends, thanks a lot, scarhead.” On we go.

“You have goons and people who throw themselves at your feet for a little pleasure, Malfoy.”

“Well at least I have persons who would want to have sex with me and I’m not still a virgin like you!” It hurts to keep up all those lies.

“And even if I am,” you blush, “At least I am not sleeping with everything on two legs in the vicinity.” 

Oh, if only you knew. But go on. No matter how painful it is for me, I only have to bear with this for three more months. Three more months of being enemies and then nothing.

~ * ~

I saw you today. Nearly twelve years have passed since that night. You defeated Voldemort like was your fate. You married Ginny Weasley like everyone expected from you. You are a DADA teacher at Hogwarts now. I bet that was a shock for everyone, I bet they all expected you to become an auror. For once you didn’t do what they wanted, I am so proud of you. Joking. I haven’t seen you for years. Since the trials to be correct.

Oh yes, the trials. My father got the kiss and my mother now resides in St. Mungos because she was classified as mentally disturbed after I disappeared. At least it’s not Azkaban. I got free, because all they could convict me for was being part of the Malfoy family. That’s apparently enough of a crime for them even when I disappeared before anything big happened. I guess I should thank you nonetheless for convincing them to let me go free. It was not easy to hide the fact I have a child during this by the way. I would have never managed without Lou Carrette, a good friend who I met when I hid in France. She looked after him while I was at court.

He’s beautiful, you know. I named him Orion James Malfoy. Obviously I couldn’t give him your family name. He has my hair colour and face but your eyes, nose and smile. And I can never get his hair straight. No need to question where that comes from either. Lou knows you’re his father. She figured it out by herself and I needed someone else to trust in after Sev died during the final battle. She’s still living with us.

I have never married. My heart can’t get over you. I care a lot about Lou, but she’s just a friend. I work for an apothecary now, making potions. They hired me despite never officially having graduated and the faded dark mark on my arm. Lou’s helping me and we are planning to expand the business. Orion’s starting Hogwarts this year. That’s where I saw you. I was saying goodbye to Orion on platform 9 3/4 and there you were with your wife and your own children. It hurt, but the pain has numbed over the years.

I know you saw me and you saw Orion. Will you recognize your own eyes when he’s sitting in your class? I hope not. As far as he knows, his other parent is dead. That they died a hero, but Orion knows he should not speak about both of his parents. I am still not really accepted in this society and I thought long whether to send my son to Hogwarts instead of a different school, but it seemed wrong not to. I’m pretty sure you know he’s in Slytherin. Again ironic, don’t you think? The saviour’s son in the evil house of snakes. But he’s strong, you can feel his magic. He is making me so proud, you would be too if you knew. But you won’t. You still don’t remember our night so you will never know.

~ * ~

Fate seems to hate me however, because like in our school times our ways cross each other permanently on coincidence. This time it’s Diagon Alley. Lou and I are just returning home from work. Orion’s still at school, but as a teacher you can leave whenever you want.

“Malfoy!” you yell down the Alley.

I freeze and Lou puts a hand on my arm. Knowing the whole story she is aware that seeing you hurts me. Nonetheless I am still a Malfoy so I put on my emotionless mask and turn to you.

“Potter,” my voice is cold.

“I haven’t seen you for ages,” you say, way too happy for my liking, “How’s it going?”

“I am fine. You?” I answer shortly.

“Great. I love my job and my kids,” you grin at me, are you somehow high? “You have a child too, don’t you? He’s in Hogwarts already. Orion was it, right?”

I nod tensely. You don’t know and it is to stay that way.

“Are you married? Are you Orion’s mother?” you ask, turning to Lou.

She smiles, a fake smile, she’s as good at pretending as I am, “No, I am just a friend. Nothing more. Orion’s mother died long ago.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I wouldn’t know how I would feel if Ginny died.”

My hand clenches. Ginny. One of those god forsaken Weasels. Feeling my turmoil even though I don’t show it, Lou grabs my hand. She keeps on making conversation with you. I set on pretending to ignore you. That’s what former enemies do, right? We are grown up enough to not shout insults the moment we see each other, so ignoring is the best solution. We are enemies after all and that’s everything we will ever be apart from that one night twelve years ago.

Finally Lou manages to finish your conversation. She says goodbye while I only click my tongue. I haven’t let go of her hand the whole time and as soon as you turned away she pulls me into a small side alley where no one can see us. That’s where I break down. I grab her and pull her close to me, relishing in the feel of human warmth I haven’t felt for years. But I am a Malfoy. Malfoys don’t cry. So I don’t, just hold her close and shake.

“Don’t ever leave me alone,” I mumble to her.

“If you want that I never will,” she answers softly, running her fingers through my hair.

“We could get married,” I whisper, “So Orion can have you as his mother and no one will ask him about his parents anymore.”

She laughs, such a beautiful sound, “If that’s your wish, I am fine with it. You were the one who said we were just friends.”

“We are, does it bother you?”

“No, I couldn’t satisfy you anyway,” she says softly.

Lou has experienced sexual abuse from a young age, so she is very sensitive when it comes to someone touching her. But apart from that she’s the best person I could imagine. And Orion loves her like a mother already. He even asked when I would marry her, so he could have a mommy.

Ten months later is the ceremony if you can call it that. My father would get a heart-attack if he saw such a humble Malfoy wedding. No announcement in the newspaper, no big ceremony. Just Lou, I, Orion, a priest and Blaise as our witness. The little boy was ecstatic.

~ * ~

I live a happy life afterwards. I will never be able to forget that one night we shared while you will never remember it. Lou is always there when I need her. I can even face you without having to fight the wish to run. We actually have another child, despite the fact we only sleep with each other two times in all our lives. A sweet little girl, Orion loves her to bits. He becomes an incredibly strong wizard, an auror, and his sister a healer. Lou and I are so proud of them. Despite the fact that we are married, we would still never call us lovers, but we are happy with each other. She dies two years before me. I am over seventy now and so are you. I have written a letter to Orion in which I am telling him the whole story. He will get it once I passed. Fascinating you will live longer than me, but don’t worry he won’t come to you.

You will never know we spent a night together in sixth year. You will never know you have a son even older than James. You will never know that I still love you. Because of one Obliviate, because of one sentence maybe carelessly spoken by you, you will never know any of this.

**Author's Note:**

> That's it. Thanks for reading.
> 
> I hope you liked it. Comments and Kudos are always appreciated.
> 
> Second part of the series is going to be uploaded as soon as I manage to figure how to tag it.


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